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[04 Jul 2006|12:19pm]
so yea i dunno... something short... but revenge is sweet.. isnt it?! :)
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yea... exes [06 Jun 2006|11:54pm]
So im coming to realize, that i fall for the wrong people and end up getting controlled in the end. How could i just get myself to that low point again? How can i trust anyone the way i have to all the others i thought i loved. Staying with every single one of them, even after getting cheated on, used and hurt. Every single relationship i was used. All different reasons, but still it happened. My past relationship, i thought went all right, thinking i would of been the only one. But instead, i find out i wasnt the only one, and they were on a break, and she didnt break up with him for me. We still fooled around after we broke up, 2 years of fooling around. How can i go that low...how can she? how can she lie like that? im sick of talking about this, yet i want my damn revenge. well its more of what she deserves. She played the both of us, yet he still thinks of her as a perfect angel who DOESNT lie and cheat. wow... if he only knew about the other people she saw BESIDES me, while "still with him" and still fucking me. Yea, i still do alot of shit for her. what the fuck
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BIRTHDAY! [21 Aug 2005|10:11am]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! lol finally i turn 19
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[08 Aug 2005|06:04pm]
1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
6 comments|post comment

my away message [09 Jul 2005|01:26am]
[ mood | depressed ]

im not sure whats wrong with me right now.... my stomach's telling me to throw up.. and my head is telling me to cry.....

....im just so confused and want to know the right answer.....

...can i be happy? please

... i guess that isnt a good thing..i think my depression is slowly coming back. im finally realizing i dont think anyone likes me and i will be alone for awhile. this feeling hit me like a ton of bricks and im scared...

if anyone reads any of this... just tell me.. i'll delete my live journal if you want me to.....

i just want to feel comforted... i guess right now is a crucial time for me.. and i guess i need to feel loved...

9 comments|post comment

fill this out if you love me! [16 Jun 2005|06:29pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Who are you, what's our relationship?:

How and where did we meet?:

What's my middle name?:

How long have you known me?:

Tell me one good thing about myself?:

When you first saw me, what was your impression?:

My age:


My favorite band at the moment:

Color eyes:

Do I have any siblings?:

Have you ever had a crush on me?:

What's one of my favorite things to do?:

Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?:

Describe me in 3 words:

Name 5 things I love:

Do you think i'm good looking?:

How would you describe me to someone?:

Would you ever date me?:

Tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:

What do you like most about me?:

If we could spend a day together, what would we do?:

Have we ever gotten in a fight?:

Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?:

Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:

What do you think my weakness is?:

Do you think i'll get married?:

What makes me happy?:

What makes me sad?:

What reminds you of me?:

If you could give me anything, what would it be?:

When's the last time you saw me?:

3Do you think our friendship is getting stonger/weaker or staying the same?:

Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?:

Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?:

If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?:

What song (if any) reminds you of me?:

If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?:

Would you make a move on me?:

Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day?:

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stealing this fun girlfriend survey from krissy.. and it will be public.. lol [31 May 2005|06:05pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]



Place of residency:


Why do you want to fill this out?

What do you think about me?

What was your first impression of me?

Do you still feel that way?

Do you wanna kiss me?

Do you like to cuddle?

If you had the choice of either going out and hanging with your friends..... or spending the night with me, what would you choose?

Pick one-five words to describe me:

What reminds you of me?

On our first date, where would you take me?

Do you call people back when you say you will?

Do you bail on people a lot?

If I was wearing really ugly clothes, would you still show me off to your friends?

Are you controlling?

Are you the dominant one in a relationship?

Are you FUN?

Do you fall in love easier than most?

Do you get depressed easily?

Pick a random color, doesn't have to be your favorite:

What do you spend most of your time doing?

Favorite girls name:

Favorite guys name:

Do you like to go to parties and/or clubs?

what are your future goals?

Do you smoke cigarettes?

Do you drink?

Do you do drugs?

Do you drive?

Do you like pool?


Are you spontaneous (if so give an example)?

How would your best friends describe you?

Does any song remind you of me?

Have you ever had a dream about me? (if so, tell me about it)

Would you buy me stuff?

Would you send me flowers sometimes?

Would you let me play my music in the car.... even if you hated it?

Would you sing to me?

Would you ever do kareokee? with me?

Favorite music, top 5 bands?

Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic?

Do you live up to your first impressions?

Did you lie on any part of this?

Are you trying to impress me?

Anything you would like to tell me that I don't know yet?

So why would u want to go out with me???

What is my best feature?

Would you dance close (grind) with me?

Would you protect me?

Would you be true to me?

Do you like thunderstorms?

Do you like President Bush?

What do you think about public displays of affection (PDA)?

Would you hold my hand in public?

Would you kiss me in public?

What color are my eyes?

What are some of your pet peeves?

What turns you on?

What turns you off?

Now pick a word... the first word that comes to mind and write it here:

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[16 Apr 2005|08:38pm]
anyone around this weekend? its soooo boring!!!
3 comments|post comment

[24 Sep 2004|10:35am]
the soundtrack to your life by cuteliz34
opening creditsthe reason by hoobastank
love songpunk rock princess by something corporate
heart break songscreaming infidelities by dashboard confessional
I hate you songthe pharmacist by hot rod circuit
everythings ok songfloat on by modest mouse
closing creditsmaps by the yeah yeah yeahs
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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[07 Sep 2004|07:21pm]
last entry.. the rest will be friends only... sorry!
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[03 Sep 2004|10:10pm]
[ mood | excited ]

o yes, this will be the last time i will be posting before i go off to school. damn i have to get up @4:30.. this will be interesting to wake up. but i will be in fitchburg next time i update.. soo leave some messages... BYE!!!!!

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[02 Sep 2004|04:17pm]
[ mood | calm ]

well, since i've gotten yelled at for not writing in my journal. i'll write in it now. i have like less than 2 days since this day is practically over. i wanna get outta melrose so fucking bad! im so sick of being here and thank god for NO MORE high school! ha just imagining being in another physics class or sitting thru another cooking class  makes me yawn! lol yesterday me and my cousins Jill and Kate (on my dad's side) went out to lunch at Bertucci's. we had some REALLY good convos ranging from car accidents to drinking. man i wish they could visit me while im in school. that would be awesome! lol

i finally got my haircut again. its not really short, its more of a security thing. when its long i like it but then again i hate it. im trying.. and i really mean im trying to grow my bangs out. since alot of people dont know me, maybe it would be bad. less things to worry about. i STILL have to change my damn biochem class.. what the fuck was i thinking when i chose that class?! who knows... so i guess im pretty much packed up. or well the stuff is all here. just not put together or in the car. i will do that tomorrow, with my aunt and my mom. lol so yea i got to register to vote today. so my mom wont nag at me for that. along with the other shit she has been for the past few weeks. i tend to ignore it. since i just go off and take the car! lol

in the mail a few days ago, the IRS sent my mom a letter saying she owes them $12,000. the reason was about my mom's alamony (or however u spell it) to my dad. i guess 2 years ago my dad put a complaint. tho he hasnt paid that since like 1994. hmm yea and he pays child support NOT alamony. so my mom called them and they were like oops.. not again. and i guess my dad is FUCKED. god here goes half of my damn college tuition next year.

ehh i guess thats all.. sometimes i get into a mood where i wanna type, this is one of them.. lol

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[29 Aug 2004|10:15am]
[ mood | sad ]

last night trying to go to bed pretty much sucked. i kept on having a nightmares of my nana and grampie leaving me. yea i know.. weird.. but as most of you know i dont have anymore living grandparents left. it started from yesterday morning when i got to visit their graves with my mom and aunt. it was so hard to hold it in.. and so i just bursted into tears. i miss them soo fucking much, i need them so bad right now too. they supported me in everything i did. i still have to visit them again like by myself before this saturday. im in like the worst mood right now... all i wanna do is just cry. im gonna go..

10 comments|post comment

i wanna go to school!!!!! [25 Aug 2004|10:35am]
[ mood | cold ]

All i want to do is go off to school. i wanna get outta melrose sooo bad! so bascially i have like 10 days left. today's my last day of work which means i will NEVER have to work there again, which sorta sucks in a way, cuz i have to get a new job in the summer. Maybe Toys R Us.. ha no.. you think i'd be working there by now. I should be finally getting my computer today, since i was in the shower yesterday when the UPS guy came and he left. i'll be getting a printer and a digital camera with it too! o yes, so back to school.. im pretty much done with the shopping, but the clothes. so im almost done and krissy and i are waiting for ashley. i have no idea whats going on. i gotta go.. im hungry.. lol

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[21 Aug 2004|05:28pm]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.......not even a fucking cake! its great to be 18.... :(
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[12 Aug 2004|08:00pm]

Leo - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're almost always the center of attention - and easy for potential dates to spot

Your happiness and optimism is appealing to all... and contagious!

You don't hold grudges - getting over little fights is no problem for you

Your negative traits:

You tend to ignore relationship problems, until they are too big to handle

You crave luxury, and you are disappointed with partners who can't provide you with it

If someone does you wrong, you'll coldly and cruely break their heart

Your ideal partner:

Someone high status enough to bring you more attention - but not so great that they upstage you

Makes you laugh and brings excitement to everything you do together

Is aggressive and confident enough to butt heads with you every so often

Your dating style:

High expectations. You need to be impressed with an incredible first date for a second one to occur.

Your seduction style:

You like to make the first move - you're fearless about initiating things

Passionate. You really get into any intimate act.

Aggressive. Most of the time, you find yourself wanting sex more than your partner.

Tips for the future:

Try to not need so much attention. You'll feel less ignored, guaranteed.

Learn to love your parnter for who they are - not how they help advance your life.

Let your partner shine occasionally. You don't always have to be the alpha dog.

Best place to meet someone online:

Platnium Romance - these flirty singles will make sure that you're the center of attention

Best color to attract mate: Gold

Best day for a date: Sunday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.
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[12 Aug 2004|05:36pm]
[ mood | blah ]

man... i havent been writing alot. and well i decided to. my dad got me red sox tickets for saturday night.. better seats than usual... 1st base line 2nd row.. o hell yes. danielle's coming with me since i told her i would bring her to a game with the tickets i get. these are better tickets than what i usually get. i wonder how we're getting there. we hung out with toni on her last night.. last night. im gonna miss her. we saw collateral. or how ever u spell it.. it sucked. please dont see it. its a waste or ur money. and my birthday is in 9 days!!! yay!!!!! and i need to talk to my roommates soon. along with having this party on sunday... if anyone is a friend of mine and has nothing to do this sunday the 15th come by my next door neighbor's house in the corner @noon for a going away party or as my uncle robbie would say get the fuck out of here party. well comment to me.. cuz i need to tell the hosts of the party.. lol well thats all cuz im bored and tired or typing.. later!

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bad day... [24 Jul 2004|11:57pm]
[ mood | sad ]

this day really has to end. i really hate today. i did notihng productive except driving my sister's ass around and buying two cds... Less Than Jake and Big D and the Kids Table. anyways the last couple of days at diana's have been really fun. playing truth or dare. and corrupting diana is always fun. so about today.. i hate today. its soo weird how u can wake up and you already know how the rest of your day will be. i have a big feeling tomorrow will be just as bad along with monday and probably the rest of the week. o yes i may be negative, but its true. it sucks soo much.

i may have to call my dad tomorrow since he didnt answer today about nh. im thinking maybe doing a friday, saturday and coming back sunday thing up at my uncle's place. my uncle would probably let me.. it will only be me, danielle, toni and diana. soo i think it would be ok. off the lake and all. girls weekend would be awesome. maybe i need that, to just get away from my family, o yes even though i'll be away from them all of this fall, winter and spring, not including breaks.

damn it.. i cant find my further seems forver cd. it was sooo good! i'll probably never find it. im gonna go.. too much shit on my mind... later

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nickeback [21 Jul 2004|12:29am]

look at this site about nickelback.. soo true!



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[19 Jul 2004|10:59pm]
[ mood | calm ]

so today sucked, didnt do too much. i got up and bascially wanted to cry most of the day and then my aunt, uncle and the cousins came back from maine to the hosue to pick up the car. then i decided to shower and get ready. i made my cousin lauren and myself some tuna fish sandwiches in which she loves now. but then my sister's friend had to come over and scan her report card and change the grades on it. in which in totally worked.. lol im alittle surprised. so my mom came home, i made dinner! chicken and rice.. (o yea!) and well my mom was yelling at me to take my sister out, cuz she was pissing her off soo much, soo i did and we dorve around for a few hours. we ended up at Dunkin' Donuts to see Diana.. what else is new?! so she met my sister and her mom was there too. my sister is sorta similar when it comes to laughing. but she laughs alot more. and diana was cracking her up. and i may hang out with her tomorrow night after she gets outta work around 8ish.. so besides that.. it was all fun

tomorrow is yet another day up in fitchburg. Summer Orientation time. o yes... my older cousin Julie will be there to help me out. which im very grateful that shes there instead of my dad. so it will be nice, to get everything over with. this will be the last time i'll be there before september when i move in. nice.. nice!

soo much shit is going on lately. i mean i dunno what to do. i hate the fighting, it gets me soo upset, and the things that i regret saying. i regret what i did, but obviously people dont see that. i dunno.. i feel like shit and everything is being thrown onto me. its like what the fuck.. i may be paranoid, but i swear everyone is bound to get me one way or another. but its weird.. as of right now.... im not pissed, not sad, not happy, just content and calm. wow talk to me when you can.. lol

I've noticed i've gained a few new friends that just sorta popped up. For instance, Toni. I got her sn from her live journal cuz i saw who danielle had as friends on hers. soo we hung out last night, shes very much like me.. very gullible.. but i love that. going into the british accent and all. along with myself becoming a matchmaker... well sorta.. im very happy for those 2.  and i've noticed that i started talking to diana too. in which she made me get her number in dunkin donuts.

wow.. for once, im writing alot.. but i guess thats all for now.. thats all thats on my mind.. later

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